Does the condom actually work in preventing HIV?

The short and most truthful answer is a resounding NO. The use of condoms does not prevent HIV transmission totally. It only reduces the rate of transmission. If a man frequents sex workers and uses condoms all the time, he will eventually catch HIV. Condoms are made in a variety of ways and users are usually unaware of this fact. They just think one condom is as good as the next. They are also made for different reasons such as safety, contraception, reduction of premature ejaculation, fun in sex, etc. When you ask an average man what type of condom he has brought, you often see him show a confused look. Condoms can rip, even when used by experienced users. When one rips, do you catch HIV straight away or not? How many times do you have to have a ripped condom before you can catch HIV? Nobody really knows the answer.

HIV and other STIs is transmitted because men do not like their wives. Condoms were invented to try to make it seem like men are protecting themselves when out there hunting for sex outside the home. Ask any sex worker how many times a condom has burst on them and listen to what they say. It is more common than you think. Now most sex workers prefer to roll on the condom themselves to make sure it is done properly. A man with a hardo is not exactly capable of thinking about anything else and assuming he can correctly roll on a condom is foolish.

In the SADC region, there is an added practice of married men having shared concubines. Most men have another woman they have regular sex with in exchange for groceries and rent for her house. They are not proper commercial sex workers, but they are social sex workers. Each of them usually has other few (three to four) regular men she also gets income from. Men usually do not use condoms with these women. The idea is once you have been having sex with her for a while, you start pretending she has no other men and condoms are no longer used. A concubine like that usually has children and each of the men thinks the child is his so they all pay a voluntary maintenance. If she catches HIV from any of the men, all the others, their wives and their subsequent children will have HIV.

While I was a full time sex worker I had men who preferred to treat me like they treat a concubine. They pay me a portion of their salary at the end of each month, the pay my rent and they pay the shop where I get my groceries. I could have several paying clients during the day, and have a regular man staying for 4 or so hours during the evening. Such men are usually rich businessmen who call their wives on cell phones just before or just after having sex with you.

Wasting time insisting on condoms in such a society is just a waste of money, because the sex workers already have HIV, the concubines will catch HIV, men will necessarily have HIV and the wives almost must catch HIV. In the mean time they also catch other STIs. A wife may never be unfaithful, but she will still catch an STI. It is more dangerous in the SADC region to be married than to be single when it comes to the rate at which people are infected. The number of freely available condoms in the region is not relevant to the equation. The organisation of the society is what needs to be changed before condoms can work. The condom has been a nearly useless quick fix. However, you need to use condoms all the time whether you are married or not. Look carefully at how they should be used.

I have always suggested that the young women who want to get married (stupid thing to do) should undergo a rigorous training programme, paid for by the government, and run by former-sex workers, to give them the sexual skills that they will need to keep the man focussed. The men also need a system of immediate and severe punishment if found to be unfaithful. These would only take one generation before attitudes change. As a former sex worker, I may seem to be talking my fellow sex workers out of a job, because if men do not stray, sex workers cannot work. I think that sex workers could be paid for by governments to do useful social work. The men in prisons, the men in barracks, etc they all need sex.